Funk

I'm in a funk. I'm full of contradictions, as this avatar shows fairly well . . . I did another one, a fairy in fairyland, and that's where I'd like to be, but I'm not there right now. My life is in shreds and I'm having trouble making decisions and coping and I'd really like to mope and complain, but I think that wouldn't be fair. I don't have it that bad.

Part of this funk is related to therapy, and part of it is related to Ender's Game, which I found really disturbing. Using a little kid to wipe out another species just because the human race has convinced itself that the other species is out to get them, despite having no recent evidence of animosity from the other species. Well, it just bothered me. And they didn't even tell the kid that it was for real until he was done--he thought it was all a game--ugh. Not emotionally helpful at the moment . . .

Made a hard decision to take care of self first and play later. Am not entirely happy, but results will probably be better, overall.

Need to make a decision about which Erin Mckeown concert to attend. SF concert is more appealing in all areas except travel. Local concert is, well, local . . . Need to make decision today and don't feel up to it. Wish external circumstances would swoop in to assist . . .

Enough grumpiness. The !&#% has hit the fan and it's coming back at me. So I'm sending it out to dissipate. Maybe not such a good strategy from the rest of the world's point of view, but I can't hold it all anymore.