Melt Down

I had a complete and unprovoked melt down last night. Very worrisome. Am concerned that this might mean I am working too hard. Beginning to worry about balancing my emotional needs for down time with my practical need to earn enough to pay the rent, ect.

The past two days have actually been very good, from an objective stand point. I enjoyed Church and did fairly well at my Meet The Doula's Night yesterday. Today I put in some work on my "to do" list, and did some much needed research into something that has been worrying me about a possible upcoming move. Found out that the thing I was specifically worried about is an moot point and another thing that might have become a worry has lots of resources available for helping people navigate it. So a sigh of relief on that one. :)

I've actually been spending a lot of my time doing on-line research for various far-future plans. My mom was commenting on how she never could understand people who planned like that, but then she saw how well-planned the events they planned for were, and was impressed. So I feel justified in entertaining myself with plans for the future, even if it has no foothold in the present.

Pious Uproar

The e-mail uproar continues among various church committees. It's quite amusing really to watch everyone get all steamed over an issue I thought had been presented as inevitable. I really don't see what all the fuss is about. And I'm pretty sure my mistake in not getting my e-mail out fast enough was minor in the eyes of those who don't want this change to go forward at all. I'd heard that this was a touchy issue, but wow! Time bomb is more like it. Everyone has been avoiding or ignoring clear statements I heard that this would be happening in the fall. Even though they were couched in an, "If you decide to do this," manner, I really didn't hear any other viable solutions to the problem. But it's amazing how mad people get when a unilateral decision gets made because they were avoiding the issue it hopes it would go away.

I want to put in my 2c and let them know I'm willing to help, but I'm afraid if I offer anything I'll get piled with everything because there are so many complacent folks who think that it's o.k. to let others do all the work.

On the lighter side, the drive in was great fun, the movie was The Clone Wars. You know how the Star Wars movies are notorious for their comic book dialog and flat acting. Well the dialog in this one surpassed LucusFilm's previous standard both in word choice and delivery. The animation was done in such a way that everyone had the too tall, too thin proportions of a politically incorrect, plastic Mattel doll. Hair looked like it was molded in place and clothing was all form fitting. The only believable parts were the scenes in space. There was so much CGI there in the previous films, that this animation looked equally "real." And on the entertainment front--the plot was somewhat transparent in the larger scope, but it's always fun to see how the heroes manage to slide out of various scrapes. It even had a "happy" ending, which totally surprised me. I thought that the clone wars were a time when everything was falling to pieces and that this movie would show some of that, but I guess they were trying to appeal to kids, or something. Anyway, I'm really glad I got to see it, and the drive in experience was fun and new and romantic . . . ;-)

School's In!

Now that I've been out of school for several years, summer somehow seems a lot shorter, and school seems to start so early! But living around the corner from an elementary school, I do notice the sudden plethora of kids . . .

I got to a Farmer's Market today, the one with the lady who sells really big glass jars of honey and the framers who sell fragrant little roses. Then I biked on in to town to hit the bank and the WiFi at the library. It's odd to say I biked into town, since I don't live in the country, but I did cross the line from one city to another, and I am in the center of that town, which feels like it ought to be out in the corn fields, not surrounded by urban sprawl.

And guess what I'm doing tonight! My bf is taking me to a drive in movie. My first ever! (unless the odd dreams I remember from childhood were born of reality and not of other movies . . . sometimes I can't quite tell.)

I think I messed up on a message I "said" I'd present to a church committee and then didn't put into e-mail form immediately. Oops. I think I might have some apologizing to do . . . And in future, I won't volunteer to write e-mails unless I know I'll be on-line and have time to do it in a timely manner. (Currently kicking myself soundly as a reminder, not that corporal punishment works.) ;-)

Randomness of Life

So the matching avatar is a little late, because the public computer I was on yesterday doesn't support avatars, or more specifically, it doesn't support flash. But I still wanted to put it up. I decided not to rent a costume at the faire, but it was lots of fun anyway. :) And there were lots of other folks in costume to enjoy.

We've had exceptionally clear weather the past few days--all the smog has been up in the clouds. That makes the clouds look purplish gray, but it means you can see all the detail in the distance. It makes the views at work and on my commute really nice. Work has been really good lately, and I've got a promise of more hours starting in Jan.

Am feeling glad to have introduced a friend to some of my current favorite music through my blog postings. I'm in a pit of an experimenting mode, have been checking out CD's of artists I like on the radio, to see if I like their albums. Discovered this morning that the album I'd been putting off playing (because I was concerned I wouldn't like it) was actually pretty good. Not sure I'd buy it, but no songs I had to skip. Whereas the album I was pretty sure I'd like at least some of the songs on, I ended up skipping every song I didn't already know from radio play, because I found either the sound or the lyrics offensive. Definitely will not be buying that!

Have a long weekend (Thurs-Mon) because of clients being out of town. Must remember to get to the Meet the Doulas Night this month! (It's the same one I forgot last month.)

Have joined another church group and volunteered to put in a good bit of time before realizing how, um, time consuming that would be. Possible oops there, but we shall see. Am trying not to overcommit.

Renaissance Woman

I got to go to my first ever Ren Fair on Saturday with my boyfriend. It was great fun, despite the idiosyncrasies of public transit in the US. Included a walk through the Hippie section of town, the anachronism of vegetarian food in a medieval setting, and plenty of costumified folks. We saw the Queen, Her Majesty even participated in a dance. There was a potter (not hairy) , a blacksmith, a lady spinning, a middle eastern dance troupe, a jousting show, a man eating fire, and fencing and archery lessons. But mostly there were people selling stuff, cloths, metalwork, leather, stone, ect. And it was all jolly good fun. :)

Passing Smog

So I passed my biennial smog today. And got in 4 miles of walking. And did some grocery shopping. And talked to a friend. And did internet research. And I have a date tonight and another one tomorrow. ;) Life is Good.

Mysterious Smog

So, I was going to get my car smogged today, but the machine wasn't working at the place I took it to. Only I didn't find out in time to take my car elsewhere, so, Friday. But the cool thing was getting to walk past the Winchester Mystery House on my way there and back. And the place was close enough for me to walk home (which is part of why I didn't find out about the glitch until too late). So I got 4 miles of walking, plus the mile + round trip to the library for internet. I've been wasting way too much time playing with my private Amazon wish lists lately. I'd better go home and get ready for work tomorrow.

Music Review

I've been meaning to post a couple of songs here for a while, but I keep forgetting to bring my headphones to the library, so I can listen to the videos before posting them. Finally, I have the chance.

First there's a Country Song that always makes me laugh, because there is so much truth in it. It's Brad Paisley's I'm Still A Guy. The visual of this version didn't work for me, but it's the best sound of the options. If you want to see a funny, edited version, watch the Heroes version.

The other is a follow up to my post about I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Just the other day on my way home from work I discovered that one of my favorite songs from collage, The Remedy, is also by Jason Mraz. They are quite different styles, and the fact that I like them both makes me think I might enjoy his albums, not just his singles. Listen to them both, and see for yourself.

Law Enforcement Presence

I know it ought to make me feel more secure, because they're doing their job and keeping things safe, but somehow seeing a bunch of police coming out of a building in my area, especially when they appear to be wearing bullet proof vests and helmets and there's a black paddy wagon parked in the street, is rather unnerving. Maybe it's because I start worrying about what could go wrong in the future? Somehow, the fact that they need to be there all all makes my neighborhood feel less safe.

Otherwise, life is good and productive. The Cupertino FM is fabulous! I ended up with more fruit than I can use in a week, but I can always freeze some. I'll have to try to get back there next week--I didn't have enough cash to get any honey, but the vendor there had some nice big jars in a shape I could easily re-use. (I'd rather get the size of glass jar that I like to use by buying things in them than just buy the jar.) I had just enough cash left over when I finished my shopping to buy myself a bouquet of roses. Not the hot-house kind, little bud roses in several colors. I didn't count, but probably a dozen or so, and at a good price. :) I love having fresh flowers in the house.

Gauche Blue Sky and an Red Alpha Romeo

So on Tuesday I had this fabulous day that started with a perfect sky that looked like something one of my art professors would have painted. It was his favorite colors, sky blue and white, and it somehow looked really flat, like gauche on cardboard (his favorite way to paint, don't ask . . . ). And then at work I discovered a text message from my b.f. to brighten an already good day. The baby had slept for nearly 3 hours, so I got to just sit and read . . . And on my way home, not only was there no traffic, but I was passed by a red Alpha Romeo. (I'd say vintage, but I've never seen one that wasn't). That's the first time I've actually seen one of those driving on the road. Only in California . . .

But then yesterday, the spell broke. The baby only slept an hour (except in the stroller) and I not only hit major traffic on my way home, but nearly missed rear ending someone who pulled out ahead of me from a near stop as I was accelerating in a lane moving at least 30 mph faster than the other lanes. Quite scary. Very relieved that my breaks work well.

It seems like most of my posts have to do with commuting these days. I guess that's because I can't talk about my life and my work are so, um, routine. Which is fine with me--that's how I like it. But it doesn't make for much to say. Maybe I should just accept it and create a category for commuting stories. Or maybe not.

Cat's Cradle

The book I'm listening to made a reference to the game of Cat's Cradle, and I realized I hadn't played with string in years. So I cut a length of yarn and tied a circle, just to see if my fingers still remember, and they do. That's body memory for you. :)

I've had a very lazy, only slightly productive weekend, but I planned it that way, so it's o.k. :)

Accidental Week

My commutes seemed to be plagued by accidents this week. The first slowed me down, but didn't look so serious when I got to it. The second looked pretty bad, but it was on the other side of the 8 lane highway, and not during rush hour, so it didn't affect me. The third slowed me down a lot, when I was already late, but then, if I'd been on time, I might have been in it, as it was pretty fresh.

Then one of those little warning lights on my dash board came on, so I had to take my car in. I've been needing to do that anyway, as I noticed something that was loose, but didn't seem to be affecting anything. Oops, it looks like that part might have been more important than I thought. I really need to learn more about cars.

So this has my whole day screwed. I was planning to go to a Farmer's Market, which I could technically still do, but I'd have to take public transit, and the system is too confusing for me to make sense of today. My brain feels totally fried, and I'm just not up for an adventure. So I guess I'll just go home and mope. Maybe I'll go to Whole Paycheck this afternoon to get the necessary supplies.