Introverting

I'm practicing a new way of being. Introverting. I'm reading an incredible book called Introvert Power, and I'm realizing that I tend to extrovert more than I really want to. I am learning to notice when I need time alone, time to think, quite time. I'm also noticing extroverted behaviors that are annoying to me. For example, just this morning I was having a conversation with someone at my Jazercise class, and someone else butted in with a barely related comment. Luckily, the class was just about to start, so I was able to spend the first few minutes quietly, mentally processing my upset feelings. At the end of class, I was able to finish the original conversation without further interruption, which was very satisfying.

I'm actually finding that it is much easier to deal with my feelings when I work them through internally than when I try to talk them out, but in order to work them through, I need quiet time, and space away from the difficult interaction. Typcial introversion. :-) It feels so good to be able to really be me.

Am I Bad?

For wanting to stay in on a rainy day? It's farm day, but I really don't want to go and deal with the wet and mud and possible puddles and wind and maybe getting rained on. Plus I still haven't used most of the veggies from last week, so I won't have to buy a lot if I skip a week. But I feel kinda guilty and afraid I'll get lazy and out of the habit.

The thing is, I am really enjoying being at home and giving myself some time off, some time on the computer, some quiet thinking time, some introversion.

I am being productive. It's just that my productivity is internal. Reading and thinking and a little doing. It feels good.

Thunder, Lightning, Birds

Birds circling during a thunder storm. A real thunder storm. With lightning overhead. In CA. Big Flash and CRASH just now. Wow. There goes someone's car alarm.

Had to step outside a couple minutes ago to see for myself, and that's when I saw the birds. Back to photo project . . .

Rainway

It's finally raining a little bit, here in this drought-land that I live in by the sea. But the funny thing is that you don't notice the rain much except in certain places. Or should I say at certain speeds? There is no problem with the barely noticeable moisture in the air, until you get up to about 55mph on a freeway. Then, suddenly, you need the wipers. So my question is, are the clouds more dense over the freeway? Or am I just hitting more drops more quickly at that speed?

INF?

So I've taken two different on-line MBTI-type personality tests in the past two days, and got two different results. One said INFJ--which is sometimes called a counselor--and the other said INFP--sometimes called a healer. But here is the weird thing: the one that gave me INFJ only gave me 22% for the J (judging) while the one that said INFP gave me 55% on P (percieving) and 45% on J. What's up with that? Actually I got different numbers in every category on both tests. Only the first one only told me the percentages for the INFJ letters, while the second one gave me percentages for the other four letters I wasn't assigned.

So now I'm totally confused as to what I am, except that I'm me. And that as an introvert I need my down time to recharge. And I can get worn out being with/interacting with people. But I already knew that about myself. Only difference is, now I have a name for it. So what has changed? Maybe I can explain my "weirness" to other people better. :-)

The Future

I have finally reached my future. My future is now my present. This is what the future looks like to me, from here:

1. I am happy.
2. I have achieved my first Big Lifetime Goal.
3. I feel successful and worthwhile.
4. I am looking forward to starting on the next Big Lifetime Goal.
5. I am a little scared of how taking the next step will change my life.
6. I have found a tribe, on-line and in person, of people like me.
7. I feel like I finally made it into the "in crowd."
8. I am motivated.
9. I feel good about myself.
10. I am confident.

I never thought I'd get here. But here I am. I never knew the future would look like this--I knew the vague shape, but now I can see all the details. This is the best present I have ever had. I hope the next future I reach is even better.

Return from Middle Earth

Where we spend 6 days in the City of Sails, which is a land desired by many, built on 48 volcanoes.

We socialized with local Unitarians, kayaked on a quiet bay, enjoyed the bush and the surf and the black sand beaches on the West Coast, and attended a cultural performance.

We encountered two of the three varieties of Kiwi in real life, and lots of pictures of the third, much shyer variety.

We skipped a day on the way there, and had a 48 hour day on our return.

And all we brought home were a few trinkets and postcards to send.

If you haven't figured out by now where we went, Google and Wikipedia should be able to help you out.