Coming Out

I've been at home (mostly) for 3 or 4 days now, doing a lot of very important, but also very hard, emotional work. Now I've reached a point where that work can slow down and I can get back to doing things in the big world. I hope I haven't over done it with all the errands I ran today. I just need to do one more thing and then I can go back to my cave.

Workmen will be reappearing at my apartment on Monday. I think I need to move some furniture. Ugh. And other things. I'm supposed to get new paint in a couple of rooms, a new heater, and a new counter. Having those things will be cool. Getting them won't. But at least there won't be too many more water outages. :)

Grateful

So grateful to my friends for the talks we had yesterday. It was so good to have people to connect with. And I really appreciated the opportunity to listen. It took me out of myself and gave me a chance to focus on someone else. But it was also nourishing because there was an even flow of give and take. I'm starting to get back into perspective, back into balance. I'm still waiting for a particular shift, but things aren't quite so overwhelming today.

The King and I

My boyfriend took me to see The King and I last night. It was a lovely production in a nice, small theatre with great costumes and good acting. A lot of the songs had additional verses that aren't on my soundtrack and I hadn't seen the movie in a long time, so the plot still held some suspense for me. All in all, it was a good evening.

Karmic Relief

Last night, in the midst of trying to deal with all my challenges, I remembered that I am in a planetary influence in my life right now which, among other things, brings delays. So is it any wonder that I'm spending a lot of my time waiting these days? Remembering this helped me to stop blaming the individuals who appeared to be responsible for the delays and give the responsibility back to the planets, since it's their job of sending me my Karma and make sure I learn the relevant lessons. Thinking of it that way helped me let go of being able to create any particular outcome through my actions. Instead, I can relax into the present and just let the future unfold without worrying about it.

Of course, all day yesterday I was doing things to try to help myself feel better. I had an Option session. I worked intensively with my Flower Essences--carrying Emergency Care and creating a mix for opening my heart and being more present and loving and accepting of circumstances in my life. Doing these things probably laid the foundation to help me remember about the Karmic influence of the planets.

This morning I remembered something else that is always very comforting for me: One idea about Karma is that we each have mountains of Karma in heaven from all our many incarnations, but each time we are born on Earth we pack a suitcase of Karma to deal with in that life. Now that could sound discouraging, except that, if we get through all the Karma in the suitcase, then all the mountains in Heaven are forgiven and we can finally be in union with God. To me, that demonstrates how much God loves us and how great God's forgiveness is, if all we have to do to reunite with God is get through one small suitcase of Karma. :)

Bad Day

Right now, it seems as if the universe is conspiring against me again. A good deal of pressure let up last week, but now other things that were in the background have come to the fore, and I'm in the hot seat again, at least emotionally. Hopefully, it will all be sorted out soon, but unfortunately it's all stuff I have no control over, and it's the waiting, more than anything, that's getting to me. So just don't expect me to be chipper for a few days.

KidPower

I forgot to tell all about my fabulous FullPower Workshop (given by KidPower). I'm already using the skills I learned in it. It was a wonderful and empowering experience. Even though I'd read about a lot of the skills we learned, it was good to actually practice them. One thing that was very useful to me was the demonstration of how my safety is more important than my, or anyone else's, embarrassment. Another helpful thing was learning from the instructors that it is possible to feel very aggressive and upset inside and still not show it in one's face/bodylanguage.

Taking the workshop re-affirmed for me how much I want to get involved with this organization. Right now, they are re-vamping their volunteer system, but I can still talk about it. And blog about it. And when they figure out what needs they have that voulunteers can fill, maybe I can do something more. :)

I'm very excited, can you tell?

Aleluia

Led another singing service at church today. It went off well, according to the congregation, which is good. But I am really tired. Have been lying around for an hour or two doing nothing. Maybe that is good, too. I don't normally take that kind of break. I guess I'll get back to being busy tomorrow. :)