Yogurt

I've been trying to learn how to make yogurt at home, and I think I've finally got it! It seems that the store bought yogurt doesn't culture well, initially, but eventually, by re-culturing it, it seems to turn out well. My latest batch is so nice and smooth and tasty, it's even delicious just plain! The first few batches were so grainy, it was kind of frustrating.

Pantheism

There was a talk on Pantheism at church yesterday. I expected to really enjoy it, as I suspect that I am a Pantheist, but I felt that the speaker missed and muddled a lot of things, so I was actually disappointed. He talked about how Pantheist revere the Universe as God, (and say that there God is not separate from or grater than the Universe) but seemed to think that "The Universe" meant only outer space, and that our immediate environment on Earth is not part of that, but is part of "Nature", which he saw a separate from "The Universe". He focused on what I would call the Cosmos. I would say that the Cosmos is part of the Universe, and so is what he called Nature. When I think of the Universe, I think of it in broad terms, encompassing everything from tiny, subatomic particles to our everyday world to the solar system and the Cosmos of galaxies and stars and also including some sort of guiding, supreme intelligence, like God, but not personified.

He also referred to different schools of thought within Pantheism. One of them was something he called Dualism, which seemed to say that there is an intelligent, supernatural presence (or many presences) in the Universe that is a part of the Universe and also directs it. I liked that until he said these descriptions of the supernatural were just "helpful metaphors" for describing natural phenomenon. Then he talked about two other schools of thought which seemed entirely separate to me, but he lumped into one idea--illusionists and physicalists. He said that illusionism can be seen in Hinduism and Buddhism and is based on the idea that the physical world is an illusion.

That was fine as far as it went, but I would combine it with the Dualism school of thought to say that the physical world is an illusion that keeps us from seeing the underlying reality, which is the absolute, unchanging creative intelligence which is our deepest or highest Self and which creates, maintains, permeates, and destroys the Universe. Saying that Buddhists and Hindus believe that the world is an illusion, without saying anything about the reality behind or beyond that illusion, makes them look silly and primitive and superficial.

The third category, the physicalists, believe that the physical world is all that exists, but, like all three types of Pantheists, still reveres the Universe as other religious doctrines revere God. Phyiscialism is category is the one the speaker seemed most comfortable with, but I'm not even sure he like this one, because he seemed to think "The Universe" was separate from "Nature" and it seemed that Nature was really important to him.

So now I don't know. I think I'm a Pantheist, but maybe not, because I do believe that there is an absolute force of life and creative intelligence, kind of like God, but more abstract, which was here before the Universe was manifest on a physical level, and which will still exist, even when the Universe becomes unmanifest again.

Another SLO

I have another Significant Learning Opportunity (SLO) today. Someone asked me to do something I really don't want to do. In a note. So I'm not doing it. I know that's passive aggressive, but I don't want to set a precedent and so if I do chose to do it once, I want to let them know first that this is not something I would normally do, and I'm doing it just this one time. And in order to let them know that, I have to talk to them. So I'm not doing it. At least, not right now.

What's neat is that I felt really upset when I read the note, but then I acknowledged my feelings and remembered some of the things I've been learning about saying, "No." Like, starting from the assumption that I'm not going to do the thing, and then working out how to tell the person. And so I worked out what I will and won't say, if it comes up in conversation, and now I'm feeling a lot better. :)

Or I was feeling better. Writing about it got me all tensed up again.

Feeling Accomplished

Did a lot of big things this weekend. Led Sunday Service and Church. Gave notice at my job. Switched my cell phone from postpaid to prepaid. Got a new number--since this phone will be for emergencies only, will not be giving out the new number. Hosted a meeting for a church group--everyone liked my cooking. :)

Feeling good! Making plans for changes in my life. Trying to get back to doing things I'm passionate about.

Lost and Found

Lately, my house has been eating my stuff. My favorite tape-cutting scissors disappeared first, then my hand salve, then my favorite pencil. Well, last weekend, while I was searching for the pencil, I found the hand salve under my bed. Then today, I found the pencil in my Day Runner. Now where are those scissors?????

Baby Hug

Got a very sweet hug today from the baby I look after. It's been 6 days since I've seen him, and apparently he missed me. It was quite touching. But I still enjoyed my time off!

Saying No

I'm discovering how hard, and yet empowering, it can be to say, "No," and set my boundaries. It really does free me up to do more of what I want. The hard part is saying it in the kindest way possible. I got a book out of the library that was supposed to help with this, but all the examples in it seemed to harsh to me. I guess my idea of being kind is a bid "radical"? Who knows. But I know that this is an important part of my spiritual journey right now.