Packing

Now I've done some emotional unboxing, I'm starting to think concretely about preparing and packing for my upcoming trip. May not be on-line much over the next week . . .

Life is good right now. Saw the twins I used to nanny for, yesterday. They are 4 now, and just had their first hair-cut. Which is hard to believe, as both of them have incredibly long hair--but apparently the ends were ratty.

Anyway, they remember me, even though its been a year since I've worked for their mom. We all had a good time. :)

Got to meet some of M.'s soon-to-be former co-workers. Am looking forward to meeting his family, too.

Now it's just a matter of pulling together the lose ends before we leave.

Unboxing

Life continues to improve, as I discover the emotional boxes which I put myself into, and slowly find the flaps and unpack myself from my own confinement.

Back to Busy-ness

I feel like I finally got my head back on strait, helped along by a motherly pep-talk yesterday. I'm actually starting to focus and get things done again, after weeks and weeks of inertia. It feels really good.

For one thing, I'm inspired about finally finishing a book I've been trying to read for 2 or 3 months. It's been really hard to get through, because 4/5ths of it is "evidenced-based" information about stuff I already know. The problem with "evidenced-based" information is that it is so dry, and, from the perspective of my midwifery background, often incorrect or incomplete . . . But now I'm finally into the interesting sections that have to do directly with my work as a Postpartum Doula, it's going easier, and I can read more at a stretch.

After this book, I have to read 3 more, and then I'll be done with my reading list. Progress is good, so I'm planning to read a much shorter book next, before I tackle the next long one. Then I'll finish up with another short book. Rewards. :) What? They work!

Ten Things

O.k., I'm copy-catting here, but I thought it was a good idea, as I've been a bit depressed. So I'm going to go ahead and list ten things I feel grateful for. I got the idea here, but it's definitely something I've done before and might want to pick up doing again.

1. Being alive and healthy
   
2. My boyfriend
3. Work I love
4. Supportive parents
5. My friends
6. My bike and bike-trailer
7. My church community
8. TM
9. Slightly cooler whether
10. Living near my extended family

That was actually pretty hard. I guess I'm a bit depressed. But focusing on gratitude does lift my mood. :) Thanks, H. for the tip!

Heat Wave

It's hot. Temperatures are reaching record highs. And I am crazy enough not to drive or turn on the A.C. What's wrong with me? Well, if this is global warming, I want to do something about it. It's a pretty good motivator, actually. And walking/biking isn't too bad, with plenty of water and taking it slowly.

Plus, I have a North/West facing apartment, which does heat up some, but cools off relatively well overnight. And it stays relatively cool if I keep the windows closed during the day. I got dowels yesterday, so now I can open the windows safely at night. Only a crack, but it still helps.

The main problem with the heat is that it's demotivating. (I know that's not a word, but it means what I want to say. :-) I don't want to do anything or make any decisions. Maybe I'll be able to overcome my inertia this afternoon, or tomorrow, or some other time in the future. But for now, I doubt I'll do much today that can be put off until tomorrow. :-)

Speaker for the Dead

So I just finished reading this absolutely fabulous book. Its called Speaker for the Dead, by Orson Scott Card, and its the sequel to Ender's Game. Those of you who've been reading my blog may remember that I found Ender's Game extremely disturbing. I was talking to a friend about it later, trying to explain that I liked the book, I just found it disturbing. I even kind of liked the fact that it was disturbing. And it got me very interested in the rest of the series, so I'm glad I read it, because I think Speaker for the Dead was an incredibly powerful, deep, moving, and important book.

It's about Ender 3000 years later at age 35 (relativity and light travel allowed him to live 3000 years in about 20 years). But even more, it's about resolving conflict, not with more conflict, but with understanding, compromise, and cooperation. The issues are really clear, because the book deals with three extremely different species, but really, they could apply to almost anything. It's got me thinking so much and so deeply about life and conflict resolution, war and peace, compromise and sacrifice. I want to read it again, because I'm sure I missed large chunks of important material in trying to understand the plot. All I can say is, "Wow!" and go read the book. But read Ender's Game first--it lays the groundwork for understanding Speaker for the Dead--even the twisted, disturbing parts are necessary to really understand the challenges of non-violent conflict resolution.

Breakthrough!

I had a huge breakthrough in an Option Session with my teacher today! It was amazing! Wow! The details are way to personal to post here, but for those of you who know what I'm working on, I think I transformed a key belief. :) Yay! This is huge for me. Just absolutely huge.

Life in general is going well. I did a lot of thinking last night, and I've been fairly productive. Plans for an upcoming trip are beginning. Balancing desire for flexibility with desire for foreknowledge will be an interesting exercise . . .

Am feeling slightly guilty for driving instead of biking, but limited time seemed to make oil-powered transport necessary. Not that it's that much faster, in reality, but the muscle-powered transport has a longer set-up time . . . Plus the veggie-wilt factor . . .

Am glad to hear that a friend is happy and enjoying a gift that I didn't have a logical reason for giving (please excuse the possible connection to foil hats--I don't own one, really!). Sometimes things just work out without knowing why.