The Curse of the Horrific Birth Story

As I was waiting for the library to open just now, I got to listen to several women compeating with each other for who had the most horrible birth story. It started because someone had a tiny, obviously new baby. Someone else was detailing the horrific birth of her 8lb 9oz baby, and how he had to be born by C-section due to a "fat" head and cord compression. I have to wonder how much of this was iatrogenic--cord prolaps is often due to AROM, the pelvic outlet is smallest in the lithotomy position prefered by docs, epidurals prevent the movement mothers and babies need to do togther in the dance of birth. And then the complaints about the length of labor started--7 hours, 9 hours--I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound long to me . . .

If these are the stories we tell each other, is it any surprise that most women in the US fear birth? Why aren't there more of the positive, empowering stories circultating? I know it's partly because not many women have those experiences, but I also think that there is a kind of one-upmanship in telling horrific birth stories, and the women who have good experiences get discounted. Eventually, even the women who want to share their positive stories can get shut down by the ones who blow them off, and so we only share our positive stories with folks who are supportive. But then what we know, that birth can be beautiful, empowering, even pleasurable, doen't get heard by the people who need to hear our voices. Like when the radio station talked about home birth, but only played a call from someone who had a home birth that included an emergency. And when I heard those women talking today, I didn't break in with other, positive stories of births I've attended--partly because I am bound by professional confidentiality, but partly because I knew that they wouldn't welcome the truth. I was afraid of being dismissed or attacked for telling the truth. I'm not Carla Hartley, but I admire her so much for her efforts to promote birth trust by telling the truth.